Motherhood and the Myth of Balance: The Perspective of a Small Business Owner
It was 8:26pm, less than 3.5hrs hours after giving birth to my second baby. I was sitting in the birth suite, watching her being weighed and checked, when I found myself messaging a client about an upcoming Rose Cottage booking. It wasn’t out of guilt. Or pressure. It was purely logistical.
I’d learned during chemotherapy that if you feel able to do something — you do it. You don’t wait for the perfect window or the right headspace. You move when you can because you never quite know what the next hour might bring.
That mindset had served me well in survival mode, but sometimes it follows me into moments that probably deserve more pause.
Still, this wasn’t about being a martyr or chasing productivity. It was practical. We had two full days of eight-hour photoshoots happening in our home in less than 36 hours. The baby had arrived, and I needed to finalise what parts of the house would be off-limits. It was a simple text. A quick confirmation.
But looking back, it also revealed just how blurred the lines had become between business and motherhood — and how the myth of “balance” never really fit my life anyway.
Messaging from the birthsuite about an upcoming Rose Cottage Booking
You might not have been crazy enough to still been working from the birth suite, or hosting photoshoots in your home 36 hrs after giving birth. But I’m sure you can relate on other levels. Working on your laptop while the kids are sick. Lying in bed replying to people when you’d rather be sleeping. Just sending a ‘quick message’ to a client while you’re supposed to be having a nice lunch out.
The line between work and life can get really blurred as a business owner. And when you add a full-time role like motherhood on top of it all, keeping on top of everything almost requires you to spend every ‘spare’ minute possible on your business if you want it to grow.
‘Balance’ — what does that even mean? And why do we feel so much pressure to achieve it?
Some area in my life always seems to be lagging behind. It’s often like I can only have two or three main focus areas in my head at one time. Then while those two areas are growing strong, I just hope that the rest of my life keeps up based on helpful routines and a supportive husband.
I don’t think I’ve ever truly figured out what “balance” is supposed to look like. At least, not in the way we’re told it should be: some polished, acrobatic act where every plate is spinning in sync while you bounce on one leg atop a yoga ball.
This Mum clearly has it all figured out. Obviously eating only wholesome foods, working out, managing her household affairs, smashing her business goals. Someone we can all aspire to… Or should we?
Exercise daily. Eat homemade, wholesome meals. Make sure your kids eat the same. Drink enough water. Get 8 hours of sleep. Rotate toys. Meal plan (and make it creative). Journal. Spend quality time with your partner. Limit screen time for the kids, but also educate them with enriching content. Read a book. Schedule intentional one-on-one time with each child. Listen to a podcast. Schedule intentional one-on-one time with each child. Maintain friendships (reply to that text from last week). Show up on social media. Stay off your phone. Be outdoors. Be still. Budget. Give back to the community. Pursue your goals. Maintain a clutter free home. Let your kids play. Be a present parent…
…and do it all while staying calm, smiling, and remembering to “soak it all in.”
The list is endless.
There’s simply not enough time to tick every box, every day.
Or have you found the magic formula? Please tell me!
Just this week, I was trying to do design work for Cultivate Ave with my toddler home sick, she’s lying on the couch next to me watching Peppa Pig. Next I’m meal prepping for the week ahead so that I don’t have to cook when photoshoots are on for Rose Cottage. And then I’m needing to do pushups because I’m doing a mental health challenge push up fundraiser and need to get 170 done for the day.
Some weeks my life feels like it’s in chaos. Some days when my daughters are at school and daycare, I forget to eat lunch, because I’m trying to get so much done in the short space I have without them home. Some weeks I nail my own healthy eating, but forget to buy things for the school lunchbox. It’s never all running smoothly.
But am I content in this season? Yes.
Is it balanced? Probably not.
And yet — maybe that’s okay.
But if we’re happy and content in a season… does it really matter if it’s balanced?
That’s the tension I keep coming back to — how do we know when it’s enough? How do we keep ourselves in check, to make sure we’re not drifting too far from the other parts of our life that need tending?
Maybe the goal isn’t balance.
Maybe it’s rhythm — a movement, a cadence, a flow that changes with the season you're in.
Balance suggests everything needs to weigh evenly all the time.
Rhythm makes space for shift. It says: some seasons will stretch you more in one area than another, and that’s okay, as long as you're not always stretched to the point of breaking.
These days, I ask myself different questions:
What matters most this week?
What needs my attention today — and what can wait?
What would it look like to feel present, not perfect?
I’ve started to think less in terms of daily balance, and more in seasonal focus. When my kids are unwell or I’m sleep-deprived, the business takes a quieter role. And that’s okay. When creativity surges or new projects bloom, my husband and I make a plan to support each other around the home to make space. It’s not a formula — it’s more like a gentle dance. And some days, I still step on my own toes.
I try to hold these truths at the same time:
It’s okay for your priorities to shift.
It’s okay if your capacity looks different now.
Loving your work doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your children.
Loving your children doesn’t mean you’ve lost yourself.
Rhythm honours the changing landscape of your life.
It says: You can keep growing — even here.
There’s no neat formula for this. No perfect planner or morning routine that solves the tension between motherhood and business. But I do know this: your life is allowed to ebb and flow.
You're allowed to be wildly passionate about your work and wildly in love with your kids.
You're allowed to do what you can, when you can — and trust that it's enough.
And if you’ve ever found yourself replying to client emails in a birth suite, or crying quietly after bedtime wondering if you’re missing it all — you’re not alone.
You're not failing. You're simply learning to move in rhythm with your own life.
